Let's be real, all of us have life situations where we did something or someone wrong. We are humans and making mistakes is unavoidable. Some people hold remorse for the past to a point that impairs them from living in the present and even worse, imagining their future. We can be hard on ourselves and maybe self-inflicted pain gives us comfort that makes us feel temporarily better. This only puts a bandage on the wounds and prolongs the pain. Imagine that every mistake is a pound heavy and you decide to keep holding on to it. Overtime, the pound will become a ton. You might put it down for a little bit and catch a rest, (by blaming yourself and putting a temporary bandage) but choose to pick it up again and again, you fail to let it go. This weight imposes psychological and physical burdens. I am not suggesting you go around making mistakes and not taking responsibility for your actions, on the contrary.
The first step of the process of forgiving yourself is actually taking responsibility for your actions. When you acknowledge the wrongdoing and decide to take responsibility, a door for resolution opens. The next step is to show remorse. It's ok to feel guilty. Feeling guilty could spring you forward and motivate you to become a better person, probably because you never want to feel as bad as you feel by admitting to the wrongdoing. If you have the opportunity, show the remorse to the person affected by your actions; this is the time to do it. Next, repair the trust, again, if you are able to connect with the affected person, do so. Sometimes you might not be able to be in contact with the affected person. Guess what? You are also the person affected by the wrongdoing. You have carried that heavy weight. You also need to regain your own trust and offer yourself an apology; this is the time to do that.
When you offer yourself an apology for carrying the weight of the mistakes is when you can forgive yourself for putting yourself through that. The last step is to establish a fresh and new start, to renew your relationship with the other person or/and with yourself. Forgiving yourself from your past mistakes or wrongdoings can be liberating, it frees up energy you have been using just to carry the weight around. That energy can be the propelling energy to open the doors to become the better version of yourself, reach your goals, and open up your mind to a fulfilling life…. a life of richness!
Now, go on and put all of your weight down and make the decision, not to pick it up again. Go on the journey of forgiving yourself. Tell me, what do you plan on using your newly recovered energy towards?